Gamey Bits: Alien 3 (1993, SNES)

A dark, depressing future filled with aliens ready to probe you? This sounds like a job for a bored Conspiracy Guy.

Gamey Bits: Blackthorne (1994, SNES)

Hey, sometimes HE takes a break from fighting The Conspiracy. And when he does, he plays old video games. And that’s about it. He’s not very good.